May Angels Lead You In
by EmoStarlette
Summary: As I look back on my life, I can’t help but realize that the crazy set of characters that filled my youth, have made me the person I am today. Caitlin Cooper reflects on life at 16.
1. Hear You Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C., but a girl can dream, right?

Note: Okay, so yeah, I realize that Caitlin Cooper is probably supposed to be liker 12 or something, but for the purposes of this story, she's a year younger then Marissa. Meaning as they just completed their Junior year, and are 17, she's just completed Sophomore year and is 16. Got it? Good. Okay, well I really really hope you all enjoy this, I plan on putting as much heart into it as possible. And don't forget to review.

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As I look back on my life, I can't help but realize that the crazy set of characters that filled my youth, have made me the person I am today. Without them, I probably wouldn't be as neurotic, but I don't think I'd be as happy either. Growing up, I was one of the rich kids who had everything handed to her on a silver platter, but then again, in Newport Beach, who wasn't one of those kids? But I didn't truly grow up until I'd spent a year in New York, finding myself and trying to figure out the person I wanted to be. By my 15th birthday, I was a changed woman, with independence and actual ideals. I mean, I'm not saying I was raised horribly…I just wasn't raised as well as some. That's what you get when your mother is Julie Cooper. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother more then words, but the woman isn't going to win a mother of the year award anytime soon. She tries, and never quits trying, and deep down her intentions are good, so I will give her that much credit. All she ever wanted for my sister and me was the "good life", something she never had as a child, and in the end, she succeeded. As for my father, I don't know if my sister and I would ever have survived without him. He's been a driving force in my life since day one, even if his own morals and actions haven't always measured up. And Marissa? Well, she's always had a troubled path ahead of her, and I don't blame her for some of the choices she's made. Of course there were times when I hated her, didn't understand her, and wanted nothing to do with her, but when it boils down to it, we would kill for each other. And no…I'm not trying to be ironic. I guess when the day is done, and you look at your family and friends, as nutty as they can be, you just have to love them and cherish them for who they are. So with that final thought, I invite you to take a raw look at the complicated life of Caitlin Cooper, the one and only.

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Having just arrived, bags still in hand and the whole bit, I watched from the elaborate foyer of my mother's dead ex-husbands home, as she rushed frantically out the door. Her hair as fiery as I remembered, and her eyes burning with uncertainty, she left me with just a few fleeting seconds of explanation. I was able to process the fact that she was going to pick up my sister, who was in police custody for one reason or another. Now, I wasn't stupid, over the years I had figured out that my sister was a little more then messed up. She always talked about being the "normal one", but in the end, we were all royally fucked up in the head. But wasn't everyone in Newport Beach a little fucked up? But as I watched my mother leave, a frightening lull passed over the house, as I stood alone, the handle of my Luis Vuitton suitcase still firmly tucked in my fist. It's funny how you leave your home for a year, and when you finally return, you still end up alone. I guess I wasn't expecting balloons or a big welcome home banner or anything, but in my own selfish way, I was hurt. It seemed like every time there was a chance at normalcy, Marissa had to go and ruin things. And for that, I hated her. Being in New York for a year only made these feelings increase in complexity, since I was finally able to understand how ridiculously good we all had it. My sister had every thing, beauty, money, personality, friends, intelligence…I didn't understand how she could ever act like all of that wasn't enough. But Marissa Cooper…she was never satisfied.

Running a hand through my strawberry blonde hair, I tried to get a hold on the situation. I was back in Newport, which I knew was inevitable, and nothing had changed. Well, sure, my stepfather was dead, and somewhere in the fray I had noticed my mother wearing her wedding ring (the one from my father), but other then that, the same chain of events was happening all over again. Moving into the lavishly decorated home, I plopped down on the couch, confused and exhausted.

"Really, Caitlin, what were you expecting?" I sighed to myself, listening as my voice echoed through the empty home.

A/N: So here's yet another try at a successful piece of writing. So far I've had trouble sticking with my projects, and I don't really have a solid storyline for this, but I'll try to do my best and keep updating. Reviews would be great, and I'd love the help. Thanks!

P.S. I get a lot of inspiration from music, and I owe the title of this story to the amazingly gorgeous song "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World. Listen to it guys, it's awesome.


	2. Hello Sunshine

Disclaimer: Still don't own the O.C., I fully plan to let you know if that changes.

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Peering into the crystal blue abyss, I watched as the waves moved back and forth, silently wondering how the cold water would feel against my skin at that moment. It was a relatively odd thought, since I couldn't swim and hated to, but as the hot sun continued to beat down on my fair skin, I had to wonder. Jumping in, however, would have been as good as suicide, so instead of dwelling on the idea, I turned and made my way off the pier, back towards the boardwalk. Since I was a child, the boardwalk had been my favorite escape in Newport. Between the ice cream stands and the sounds of the salty waves crashing against the beach, it just couldn't get any better. Adjusting my purse strap, I moved towards the Crab Shack, remembering how it had been quite the hang out when I was in my freshman year. When I was only a couple of feet from the door, I nearly crashed into a young looking woman, who looked oddly familiar. Half of her face was covered by a huge pair of black designer sunglasses, and a Yankees hat was placed over her long straight hair, but despite both of these things, I could tell it was someone I knew.

"Oh, I'm sorry," She sighed, not looking up from the ground. Having been startled by my appearance, she had dropped her purse, and was now scrapping up the contents.

"It's my fault, really," I replied, tightening my ponytail as she stood back up. As soon as her eyes caught mine (though I couldn't see hers through the thick black lens) I knew I had been right.

"Caitlin?" She asked, tilting her head to the side, as a smile played across her face. Yep, definitely familiar. Throwing her sunglasses off, her hand flew to my arm in a comforting manner. "Oh my god, look at you!" It wan no one other then Hailey Nichol. Last I had heard she was dating my dad...but then again, I was sure she hadn't joined him in Hawaii, so that had obviously ended.

"Hailey," I grinned, back, enveloping her in a light hug. As his daughter, I had never liked the idea of my dad dating, but when it came to step-parents, and the Nichol family as a whole, I always liked Hailey over Caleb. Still, it felt odd seeing her now. I had never met her before they started dating, and before I even had the chance to get used to it, I was sent off the New York. "It's so good to see you, how have you been?"

"Oh, I've been alright, keeping busy mostly," Hailey shrugged, though her smile grew wider at the question. So it seemed that life was treating Hailey well...at least some Newport victims had ended up alright, which gave me that much more hope for myself. "I missed you at Dad's funeral..." My smile instantly faded, since I hadn't even been in attendance at old Cay Cay's memorial. Guilt was still festering in the pit of my stomach, especially since I had lied to my mother when she asked me to make sure I was home in time for the event. I told her some story about missing a final, and having to retake it before I could come home. Part of me just couldn't bear sitting in a cemetery, pretending like I was totally torn up over my stepfather's death. Me and Caleb had an understanding- I didn't trust him, and he didn't trust me. Well I don't know about him not trusting me, but he obviously knew I'd be trouble, which is why he convinced my mom that I'd do better spending my sophomore year at Eastland Prep. In the end though, the old man had been right. I thrived at Eastland, and had my first real chance to get a hold of reality and finally realize that there was a whole world outside of Newport. So I owed that much to Cal, for once, he had done something right, even if the intentions might not have been good. And for that fact alone, I couldn't attend his funeral with a fake set of weepy eyes, acting as if I really was worse off without him. But hey, that's just me.

"I had finals, I wanted to come, but I wouldn't have graduated my sophomore year," I explained, trying to push the guilt further into the pit of my stomach. It was odd how I felt worse lying to Hailey then I did to my own mother. Maybe because Caleb actually meant something to her, and that not having the extra support probably mattered. "I'm really sorry though, my condolences of course."

"Of course," Hailey nodded, also sympathetically, "Thank you." This really was tearing her up, I could tell that much. But it seemed like the death of her father wasn't the only thing screwing with her emotions, but I wasn't about to ask. "So I bet you're glad to be home...see all your friends, and your dad."

"Yeah, it's been great so far," There was another lie...I really didn't have the energy or desire to call up any of my old Newport friends, nor did I really want to converse or see any of them anyways. As I was about to make a comment about the good weather, I realized that she had mentioned my dad as well. "My dad? He's in Hawaii."

"No, he was at the funeral," Hailey replied, her own smile slowly fading. "He should be still around, said he was staying in Newport, I guess." What? Since when? This was news to me.

"That's insane, why would he _stay_ here?" I raised my eyebrow, not wanting to believe what she had said. It wasn't that I didn't want to see my dad, but I just couldn't figure out why he'd want to stay. Moving to Hawaii had been his best chance at starting over, so why in the hell would he want to come back here? Then I remembered my mother's wedding ring...oh no. They weren't getting back together, were they?

"I don't know, to spend time with you and Marissa, probably," Hailey explained, as if I was really looking to her for an answer. Once I had closed my gaping mouth, I looked back up at her, a forced smile on my face.

"It was so nice seeing you, Hailey, but I have to run," I told her, turning on my Cooper charm. "I was on my way to meet some friends, and I don't want them to end up sending a search party for me. I've really missed you though, maybe we can do lunch sometime?" It was such a Newpsie thing to say, "let's do lunch". God, I wanted to kick myself.

"Definitely," Hailey beamed, pulling in for another hug, "We'll always be step-sisters, right?" I nodded as I hugged her back, still hoping that she had somehow been wrong. With a quick wave after we parted, I started off in the direction of my car, intending to go home and demand some explanations.

* * *

"Where were you?" I heard the familiar sound of my mother's voice as I pushed into our McMansion, and stalked into the kitchen. As usual, she was hunched over the counter, trying to make up for years of avoiding her motherly duties. Like learning how to make Chicken and Stars would ever make up for it...

"The boardwalk," I shrugged, pushing the strap of my tank top further up my shoulder. "Interesting story, I ran into Hailey..." I trailed off, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket set out on the breakfast bar. Biting into it, I stopped talking, letting the silence and the sound of her chopping carrots fill the room.

"Hailey Nichol? What'd she have to say?" Mom asked, cutting the carrots a little more feverishly then usual. According to her, cooking was therapeutic, and now I could see why.

"I don't know, we just talked about getting together for lunch sometime," I said nonchalantly, as I took another bite of the granny smith. Looking up, I realized she was staring at me, rather intently, waiting for my response. "Oh yeah...and there was something about dad moving back to Newport."

"Really, she said that?" Her perfectly waxed eyebrows were raised so high, I wondered if they'd just completely jump off of her head.

"Yup, kind of weird, don't you think?" This was becoming a little bit amusing, making my mom squirm. But I couldn't help it, maybe it was payback.

"I suppose," She shrugged, going back to fixing the salad, "I mean, he has been missing you and your sister an awful lot, he probably just wants to spend some more time as a family." I could tell right then and there that she knew why he was back, and then some. And I knew she had played a bigger part in this...

"As a family? How do you mean?" I inquired, though I kept a cool exterior. Maybe I should have stopped looking at things so negatively. After all, it could turn out to be a good thing, even if their first 16 years of marriage really hadn't worked out. I was all about second chanced anyway.

"Well, you, Marissa, him, and I," She said rather quickly, as she began to toss the lettuce and vegetables. "Are you going to eat some of this? I've been so worried about how you were eating up at school...you're looking so thin, and pale too."

"That's because it was still close to winter there, until recently," I responded a little sullenly, "So what if I don't have a Hawaiian Tropics tan? Pale skin is healthy skin." No, I didn't want to look like a ghost, but then again, I was no longer willing to risk getting skin cancer.

"Whatever you say, sweetie," She laughed, her face literally glowing. Wow...she was really happy. My eyes shot to her finger, the glare of her old wedding ring catching my gaze.

"So, are you wearing your wedding ring because vintage 80's is in, or is there another reason?" I questioned boldly, really wanting to hear her answer. It wouldn't be the end of the world if she and dad gave things another try, but Caleb was barely buried. Was this really good timing?

"Um...wow, I guess I didn't even realize I had it on," She laughed nervously, but didn't move to take it off. Instead she just stuck a bowl of salad in front of me, proudly staring at the green ensemble.

"Don't lie to me mom, I'm 16, not stupid," I sighed, wishing she would just be honest with me. Until recently, I had always been honest with her, so it was time she paid me back a little.

"Okay, well me and your father were planning on telling you together, but we've decided to get back together," She grinned, looking seriously excited about the idea. So it really took them a divorce, death, and a thousand miles to realize that they loved each other? Whatever.

"Sounds great," I grinned, sticking a forkful of lettuce into my mouth. "Where's Marissa?" Suddenly the color drained from her face, as if I had just asked some forbidden question. This was the first time I had talked to her since last night, so I never did have the chance to figure out what the sudden departure had been all about. All I had heard was something about police custody, which couldn't be good.

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A/N: Okay, so I hope you guys are liking it so far. Thanks so much for the reviews, and keep them coming. Also, I'm starting to think about pairings, let me know what you guys would like to see! 


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